What happened in july. 15th birthday.

Hey, D’artagnan, when will the next blog talking about your braces come out, lol, I can’t WAIT!

July 8th:

“.... hopefully 2-3 days, (Or even 1 day!) will be about me getting braces. And my birthday. And if anything else happens in the next 1-2 days then whatever happens THEN.”

The next day: "O.k., i got the google doc open in one tap and once i'm done with watching this Jontron video i'll finish the blog......ok video over, hey i remember that video! i'm going to watch it again/while writing the blog...
:video ends and i see a video by jontron and its one of my favorites:
"Hey! i loved that video! I'm gonna watch it again!"
:i forget about blog and feel bad when i realize that i didn't work on it:
and thats why it takes so long for these to come out, not because of jontron, but because of the internet, and my low attention span.

And then another thing happens in my life, and another thing, and another, and another, and then it ends up taking a month or 2 to finish.
But enough wining, lets just get this piece of s*** over with and release this damn blog already, and then i’ll write another blog that WILL be sooner than later, and THEN we will be ALL CAUGHT UP with my life and i can finally say goodbye to missing schedules, hopefully.

Anyways, what you are about to read is the month of July for me, which is when my birthday is (YAAAAY!!!), which is the 7th, the luckiest day of the year, in fact my 8th birthday was the luckiest day of the year, 7/7/07, and some other stuff.

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As i’ve mentioned A REALLLLLY LONG TIME AGO, i had to go to a new dentist, and a new office, because my upper teeth does not line up with my lower teeth, why? because random genetics. so i had to get braces, fortunately this isn’t the 1970’s and before and braces aren’t horrible metal torture devices ripped out of a dystopian cyberpunk novel, wheres is today they are just small metals things on teeth, technology is always getting better. (Except for not being able to skip commercials on dvds, unlike with a VHS, where you could skip directly to the movie, that is fucking stupid, i hate commercials.)

The only alternative is getting a bouncer from the mafia to push my upper teeth back in, which would probably be a punch instead of a push, and probably would have led to my teeth falling completely out from the backlash of the punch, which would falling into my mouth, as i would have been leaning on a chair/knocking back from the punch, and i would have swallowed my falling teeth and choked on it and died. Yep, choking on teeth. thats one way things could have gone.

but, my dad and neither has any other member of the family dealt with gangsters before, so that will thankfully, not happen.

It was on the 18th, in the waiting area behind the window was a table with a couple of plants, with a stone fat face in the middle of it, which looked like the “laughing buddha”, you know, the fat one (Also known as Budai, and is not actually Gautama Buddha, who is THE Buddha that founded Buddhism, but actually a figure from buddhist chinese folklore that represents happiness, and is sometimes a deity and sometimes a Buddha. But is often mistaken for Gautama by westerners because of traders using Budai to resemble Buddha, because fat people are funny and Budai is fat and is laughing so he looks like a lot of big fun! Don’t make the mistake of thinking they are the same person however, Gautama Buddha was actually really skinny, infact he was named in the genus book of world records for the B.C. times as the Most Skinniest Person Ever. The More You Know.), he was not smiling however, in fact thinking about it right now i realize that he looked he looked constipated, i didn’t make the connection at the time however. basicly, he had closed eyes and was kind of froning and one of his eyes was kinda opened.

I called the stone head “Big Baba” or “Big Buda” or just “Baba”, because as i explained he looked like Budai, and for some reason i also call big fat people who are intimidating “Baba”. and if the face had a body, he would be big and intimidating and fat.

ok, i’ve gone on long enough on baba, the doctor’s name i forgot despite the fact that he acts like hes my best friend ever, i think he was the doctor who worked on me mainly during the operations before this one, i do kind of remember him, actually, he’s happy all of the time and was white, even if i don’t remember him or his name i still act nice to him because i don’t want to hurt his feelings, especially since he’ve met before, and i don’t want a enemy, especially a dentist! (But then again, unlike most people, my experience has shown that most dentist are totally unlike the dentists normally seen in fiction where they horribly torture people and are really creepy, all of the dentists i know are pretty nice, and the worst i’ve had happen to me was numbness in my cheek and my braces hurting really badly.)

Or maybe he thought i was D’artagnan, not me, i mean The D’artagnan From the 3 Musketeers, the one i’m named after, which of course means he is one of those people who think fictional characters and settings are real, like thinking wrestling is real and that Hulk Hogan is a real superhero (And not just a muscular old man who who somehow made it big for jumping on people and starring in terrible movies like Suburban Commando, Mr Nanny, and Santa With Muscles, which were all used for torture in Guantanamo Bay.).

So when he heard he was going to give someone named “D’artagnan” his braces, he probably thought “Yes! i get to put braces on one of the most famous figures from western literature! No wonder he doesn’t already have braces, they didn’t have braces back in the 17th century!”, he didn’t question the fact that the 4th musketeer was a 14 year old boy who needed braces, or how he was able to live for 5 centuries, without getting braces, or why he has a young boy, did he assume something even stupider and think that i was actually a REINCARNATION of that D’artagnan (Which is sadly a real train of thought among people like that, to think that they are reincarnations of fictional characters, like King Arthur, or Mickey the Mouse, or Cloud from Final Fantasy 7, or even the wrestler The Ultimate Warrior, because they read a dumbed down simplified version of eastern religions and thought that they could do whatever they wanted).

Which would explain things, like..........um, nothing, maybe why thats my name, but the reason why thats my name is because my dad can’t come up with original names and usually resorts to ripping off names from other things.

Actually, lets just use occams razor and say that he was just one of the doctors who worked on my teeth before and i just forgot about it.

anyways, the operation went smoothly, though i would have liked to have something on my nose, as the smell of my open mouth was bad, it hurt a little too, honestly this part isn’t interesting, because i wasn’t drugged for it like i used to be when i had operations, which means i didn’t say anything weird  i’ve finally realized that i don’t need laughing gas to tone down the pain anymore, i can take it on my own. also after the operation, something funny happened, i noticed that the music playing was Beat It my michael jackson, which i said was about gang fights, which he said was scary, but it was ok that michael made a song about them as he was telling them to beat it. if that wasn’t funny to you, well i promise you it was funnier in person, i was mostly not talking and just nodding along and being innocent, and then suddenly i mention gang fights. I swear it was funny.

But despite the smooth operation (not related to a smooth criminal), as with most operations on the teeth, my teeth was really sore for the first week of having them, to the point where, me as usual complained about them and acted as if they were the worst thing to happen to me in my enter life, they weren’t, but they still hurt.

i’m the kind of person who would scream and cry if i stub my toes, or not allow myself to get a haircut, because i would be worried that my ears would get cut off.

Actually i’m not like that THAT much.

But other than the first week, my braces have been pretty damn good, and by that i mean i haven’t really noticed them at all, but i have to brush them in a different way now, i have to brush above the braces and then under the braces for both the top and bottom teeth, its actually not that complex, but its different.

One problem that showed up was a wire on the left side and in the back of my mouth broke (thats what i get for playing with it, i guess, i actually don’t remember what it was that made me break it, i think it was large food accidentally breaking it.), and had to be reattached, twice, and the second time, which recently happened, like, in the month of august, it was also when they took of the old wire and knocked me out and replaced my teeth with metal teeth that can bite through anything, and changed my insides so i can digest ANYTHING, in other words i’m now matter eater lad!!!!

fuck, they turned me into a crappy d-grate superhero from the taking pot to come up with ideas era of dc comics while i was unconscious! and beside i already eat matter. what kind of name is that? stupid old comic books.

Actually they just give me a new wire for my teeth, which was sore for the first 2 days, which i of course whined about, and acted like it was the Hiroshima bombings in my teeth, it wasn’t. and also i am sorry for comparing it to that horrible display of nuclear destruction.

So all in all, my teeth are ok, and i can easily imagine having them for 2 years or more.

(i think i may have made that part longer than it needed to be.)

btw, the first time i went to the dentists after getting my braces, i told one of the dentists that i named the plant decoration baba, and we talked about baba and she memtioned that the decturators have a sense of humor and some other stuff about gardening decorations that i don't remember, i think something about the green man was mentioned too i think, anyways, the next time we went there, after i NAMED it, it was gone! Replaced with some weird metal stick figure guy who i have named "Pauly Shore", because he is just as annoying as him, anyways, baba was gone and it was the sadist thing i have even seen in my enter life. Damn the gardeners for playing a terrible prank on me, "they have a sense of humor" indeed, and a sense of sadism as well.

R.I.P. Baba
???? - august 2014

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and now time for the other big part of this post (But its probably not going to be very long.), my 15th birthday.

For my birthday we went down to Vancouver, psychically, Granville island, which is a beautiful merchant dock area in Vancouver near the Washington border to Canada, it is home to beaches, theaters, merchants and husklers, a huskler by the way is a street performer. I went to the place alot as a young boy, but stopped for a while after we moved to america, we couldn't go back there until 2012 because mom and dads Canadian passports were out of date for a while, and then they got new ones, and we could now go back to Canada. Grandville island included. We go to Vancouver semi-regularly.

We arrived at grandville island at 12:00, i believe, and parked on a parking space that was right by some house boats, which are houses which float on the water like boats. they are pretty neet, i would life in one if it wasn't for the fact that Granville's rent price is too high.

We went to the genreil market, and bought some launch, and sited in the dock in the middle of the market, where we also eat at, it is always home to seaguls and husklers, who always come for a easy audience.

While eating, we indeed did see a huskler, who was dressed in a basketball jersey and did tricks on a bicycle and involving basketballs, he sucked, because all he did was talk and talk and talk and then he would do one trick and then talk and talk and talk, even when he did do something it wasn’t really impressive the more interesting thing was this chinese guy who was taking pictures of him and had this permanent look on his face that was of a open mouth and grind, he looked like a really creepy Jackie Chan, god damn i’m having shivers just by typing about him, ugh. If anything he was the real husker there, instead of the “Amazing bragging man who never ever does anything because he is the best ever and he’d totally prove it once hes done bragging about it”.
Instead it should have been the “Smiling jackie chan look-alike who seriously creeps people out!!!!”, i honestly find it amazing that he was able to remain smiling at that stupid husker, like its the second coming of jesus, when what it really was the second coming of Fried Philips. 

nah, it wasn't that bad, he just sucked.

After eating some ice cream, we walked down the stairway to the dock which we always go down to whenever we are at granville island, because that area is the same place where as a young boy i dropped a green lander (of Hal jourtany, i think) toy into the water, i find that funny because kids messing things up is funny! also because the green lander toy will probably be found many years later by arcyachles, covered in seaweed and probably fish poop, and it will be debated over what it was used for, and why was it found under water, was it in the building when grand ville island was blown up by North Korea in the great nuclear war of the year...2015, turns out back to the future 2 was right and next year we will get hover boards and flying cars, but North Korea will be jules, so they will nuke wastington, not dc, due to a translation error they will nuke my state instead, and they nuked some random place in Canada because.....? This joke is dead.
Nah, they'll just think "Wow that kid was dumb.", and throw it back into the water.

Anyways, We walked on the port and saw some boats, talked about the green lantern toy, and then got off the dock and walked back to the streets.
We took a brief stop in a paint shop because mom needed paint, for some unspecified project, and then we went back to our car and drive to Stanley Park which is another place i went to alot as a kid, its a really nice and large park that 
We went to said beaches and i played with the sand despite now being 15th years old.

And then we left the beach at 4:00, because the american border would be crowded if we arrived later, which would make us stuck there until the end of the world, actually no, 7:00, i think, anyways we went back to the car and drove back home.

We stopped by the border to get some mexican food, and no, i mean a Canadian-American border, not the mexican border, just because you heard the word “border” followed by the word “Mexican” doesn’t mean that we drove all of the way to mexico just to get Mexican food*, that is ridicules. Anyways, we had a burrito and it was good. and then we went home.

It was a A-grade birthday, even if my presents didn’t arrive until a few days after (My presents were role playing game supplements, as always. nothing super special.), but it doesn’t matter, as this was one of the funnest birthdays i’ve had, ever. because i got the walk around granville island, and granville island is always fun.

*i bet there are ignorant people out there who think the only type of mexican food is cocaine. actually, i don’t bet that there are people that stupid, because i don’t want to actually EARN something from someone being stupid. Afterall, no one can be THAT stupid. Right?

Weird, that part was shorter than i thought it would be. I guess i really can't describe what it was like without wirting a tour guide of the area, it really is a nice place, but i guess i really can't do it justice here. Writing this a long time after it happened was a bad idea.

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Anyways, here are some other stuff that happened this month:

on the ___ me and my parents and trey and his mom went to a gay pride pirate, trey thought there was a guy who look liked a character from homestuck, whats homestuck? let me tell you about out of place mem-er-homestuck....its a really fucking weird web comic) actually, i’m not going to, sorry, just look it up yourself. he probally looked like this:

If you have seen this missing persona, please call the following number:
Actually, don't call me, because i don't give a s***.

Anyways, the gay parade was fun and was, well, a parade, what more needs to be said, that said, the fact it was a gay pride parade definitely needs some mention, as well as the fact that some redneck on a bike came up and said some stupid drivel about how gay parades make people gay, and i said “shut the fuck up fascist asshole” and he flipped me off, fucking red neck.

but to focus on positivity, it should be pointed out that me and joey hold a flag that said:

“Life is the School, Love is the Massage.”

I was thrilled to carry the banner, but not because of the fact it was pro homeschooling (i don’t have any problem with home schooling), but because of the love is the massage part.

And before we saw that, on july 12h, me and mom saw the super moon on our local beach with deb, cameron’s mom, it was red and cool, and it was cool because it was red, and that means it was creepy and creepy stuff are cool, and because it was creepy that means that the devil/dracula/the great old ones/the nazis on the moon bases that the other nazis forgot are going to come back and wreak havoc and ritual child abuse/Skeletons/tentacles/nazi bases in antarctica and other stupid conspiracy theories like that vaccines cause autism just because jim carrey said so on the earth.

Or it was just the moon being really close to the earth, and thus looking bigger and red and possibly threatening but not actually threatening and instead just plain cool.

and that was the month of july for me, mostly, it was not really too different from any other month, except for 2 things, first was the acquirement of my braces, and second was me aging into 15, with my aging into 15, my dad has had me do some things on my own, saying that i should be able to do them on my own as i should be mature enough to these things on my own, with this blog being late once AGAIN, twice over, this makes me wonder if i should try to push myself, and make myself work harder on this blog.

the answer to that is YES.
But then again this is just a blog my dad decided i should start doing one random day back in 2008, so maybe i shouldn't worry so much about it?

Happy 15 Trips Around The Sun To Me, and see you next time where i talk about dragonflight, and maybe other things, and then i’ll decide rather to quit the blog or not. I probably won't.

SEE YA.

also A BONUS THING:

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During june, on the 8th, we went to the upfront theater and saw THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE WORLD broadcast, he was a really smart guy because he was liberal (in other words, i agreed with his worldviews), yeah, i just said that.

liberal biases aside, he has a broadcast that comes out every tuesday, and like other broadcasts he sometimes does live broadcasts in front of a audience, he mainly talked about maya angelou, who had recently died at the time, which makes this part really outdated, but i wanted to talk about this because he was really smart and cause i asked him a question at the part of the end of the show where you ask questions, and i asked him “Why have rich people also been assholes?” and he answered “because their fucking rich!” it had to mainly due with entailment why rich people where assholes, it was a awesome answer also he loved my name.

my dad talked to him in a alley way right after the show (he didn’t talk to him alone personally face to face, he was with a couple of other fans, but that would have been cool), and learned that he LOVED the three musketeers and thought it was a awesome name, i definitely got a self-esteem bonus from that!

and that was the only notable thing that i remember happening in june aside from our visit of the family. maybe there were other stuff, but i don’t remember anything else right now and if i do then it will be way too late for that outdated shit.

see me next time for my thoughts on the recent development in the middle east: The Iran Hostage Crisis! and why i have good hopes about our new president, ronald reagan!

/JUST KIDDING

see you.

New blog post NOT tomorrow.

What the title says, its going to be that i promised last time back in july (making it embarrassingly late), and some other stuff that happened in july, and then, i'll try to make a blog that covers everything that happened in August, not a lot happened, thankfully, so it will be short to read and to write hopefully.

Well, expect for dragon flight, that part might be kind of long.

anyways, see you -
EDIT: Apparently i feel aspelt for 10 days on end.