December of 2014

Hey its been awhile, and how many times have i said that? Too many, anyways heres how last year ended for me.

The first notable event of the month, was when we went to seattle late at night and give hot coffee and cocoa to poor people on the streets, it was a very nice thing for us to do, and the hot coffee tasted great too, no i am not implying that i drinked all of the hot coffee. and there was a thing where “people where being good and doing good things” in the park nearby (Homeless people were giving each other things in the center of the park.), because of this, our services were not immediately required. But i’m just happy to have helped others in need.

next i will tell you what presents i got for christmas, you're probably wondering why i am talking about this when this is not that far in the month, but its because i got my big christmas present BEFORE christmas, it was an desktop computer made to play high end vidya games, “Cyberpowerpc” is its name and it seems to be pretty good at running games, it also has a door, for some reason, and it came with a gaming mouse, which felt good to hold but LOOKED very douchey, it was red and over sized and all of this extra shit on it that was unnecessary and very tacky. so i used my old cordless mouse instead.

anyways, i had already decided to get a desktop computer for a while but i got a very good reason to get one because my dads alienware computer’s (which i was normally using for playing video games) screen broke and then its hard drive broke because i dropped it, and another computer i had which could play really old games just died for no reason.

so computers were dropping like characters in game of thrones, so i NEEDED the new computer, since then, my dad has gotten new hard drives for both, and a friend of his was able back up the computer that was old’s hard drive and i used it to get back the saves for games that didn't have cloud saving, (like the original Thief) and other stuff like my snuff porn and top secret plans that nobody else should know under any circumstances to assassinate the president.

yep.

wait......................

OH SHIT!

FORGET I SAID THAT, ALSO when christmas actually happened, i got a bunch of candy, some money, a book about jesus doing sports, which was making fun of people who pray to jesus publicly in sports , and a toy fan with one of the m&m guys on it, which had m&ms (Really? Nooooooooo.) coming out of the bottom, but it was FUN sized m&m, which means really small m&ms, which means i got barely any of them, which mean it sucked, which means it wasn't fun. so i throwed the piece of junk away, and left it to rot.

1/10, terrible present.

also i got the arthurian companion, which was a altas of all things king arthur, it mostly chronicled things from the very early legends of the perfect christian king, not newer incarnations, so this was mainly things like Le Morte D’Arthur.

(in coming history lesson) which was probably written in 1469-70 (the book was published posthumously.) by the prisoner sir thomas malory, who based it on earlier sources and tales about king arthur (mostly french romances), and put it into one book, which makes it very important to the legend of king arthur, as it is the most complete source for the legend. ironically, Thomas Malory was in prison because he had been convicted for banditry and rape, and yet for some reason, perhaps as an attempt to redeem himself for the crimes he had committed, he wrote about a king know for upholding chivalry and heroic values.

maybe it was punishment? “As punishment for being unchivalrous, you will be forced to write the most complete record of the Legend of a King known for upholding moral values!” “No, not that! anything but that!”

Anyways, the arthurian companion itself is an interesting and informational read and is useful for those running a pendragon (a tabletop roleplaying game about king arthur.) game.

(it is also perhaps one of the first books to contain a spoiler title, in middle french, the title means “the death of arthur”, man, what a spoiler. Maybe this title was what influenced jrr tolkien to name the last lord of the rings book “return of the king”, where the king comes back.)

so my christmas wasn't really notable, but it was still fun, because i spent time with my parents.

And now, here's how new years of 2014 was for me. (as you should notice, this month actually wasn't very eventful) Like last year my friend gabe came over, and like last year we hanged out, we played garrys mod (which i hadn't played for years at the time, so it was like a meeting of old friends, like the actual meeting of friends that was happening at the same time) and had a sniper showdown, in garry’s mod, not real life, neither of us is that cool...........or insane.

and like last year we sacrificed a goat to satan, oh and he told me that he was playing the led in his school’s play, which was really cool!. The play he was playing (a little redundant, much?) in, was the classic musical “guys and dolls”, which is about a guy who is very clearly of the Y chromosome, and is not the only one of that chromosome in the play, which fills in the “guys” part of the title, who needs 1000$ to keep on running the oldest permanent caps game, so he bets a fellow member of the Y chromosome named sky madison, who is played by my friend gabe if you're watching at his school, that he can’t make take the next X chromosome, or as he puts it, “doll”, slang for a pretty woman (which puts in the doll part of the title. it also is in the same play so the “and” part is true as well, the only part of the title that's questionable is the “s” in dolls, unless you sexistly label all women in the play as dolls, then all of the title is 100% true, rare to see such honesty in a title), he sees fall in love with him.

for some reason he didn’t account for if the next woman he sees is married, already in a relationship, gay, old, is actually the baba yugi, a Yuki-onna, or a succubus. or that she might be on her way to becoming a he. or that she is actually already a man, but then again he might just find another woman if that's the case. anyways he meets a missionary named Miss Sarah Brown, they fall in love, and then shit happens.

In a totally unrelated subject, we also played cards against humanity (Apples to apples for horrible people), which normally requires at least 3 people but my dad and mom were asleep so we used an optional rule, that was where you can play with an fictional player named rando cardissian (yes, like lando calrissian, the only black person left standing in the galaxy of star wars), who you would draw one card for and that's the card he plays, however we needed one more player, so we had another fake player based on a star wars character, the fly alien slave owner in star wars episode 1 who had the big nose which made people think it was a racist jewish stereotype, and (as you can see) we couldn't remember his name, so we called him “Space Fly Jew Alien”.

Oddly enough even  though his cards were completely random, “he” keep getting points! Gabe was not happy at this and he often said “GOD DAMN IT SPACE FLY JEW ALIEN”, to our laughter, he ultimately rage quit the game because the imaginary person SJFA keep on getting getting points, in fact the fictional player got second place (i got first btw), to my (and arguably his) amusement.

Also, the most offense card mixture played was this:

“What’s Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?”

“The Next School Shooting”

and then 12:00 AM hit, we didn't really care we were just playing on our computers, in contrast to last year where we were sitting on the couch yelling happy new year and being all happy and stuff. he left the next morning, obviously, what, did you think we adopted him or something?

HAPPY VERY LATE NEW LATE YEAR EVERYBODY.

next: february 2015

and then march 2015 when its june or may or december or something, and maybe those other months that happened in 2014 that i was too lazy to write.

see you soon (or eventually)!

November

Not much happened in november, the only real important thing was Thanksgiving, in which we ate with treys family, but thats about it. and i can’t really remember anything notable about it. It was fun, sure, but nothing really interesting.

Also i had to get my braces replaced again, boring, right? But this time was a little different.

What happened this time was that i went to the place where i normally go to get my braces replaced (the one that used to have big baba), and they took off my braces BUT THEN i went to the place where i go to get my braces cleaned IN THE SAME DAY, and got my braces cleaned. And THEN i went back to the dentist who normally replaces my braces and acts like i’m his bro (i think his name is Mark or something), and this time he wasn't at his normal place, he was at a dentistry that looked like a log house.

It was like the old Country Bear Jamboree ride at disney world, but there weren’t any bears playing banjo music.

In fact, when we arrived there i thought we were going to one of those restaurants that were themed after banjo playing bears and selled pancakes, but it wasn't, it was just how that dentistry looked, it was weird.

And then Mark (?) replaced my braces, and he was all like “Yo D i hope santa gives lots of goodies this christmas” and i was like “I doubt he will” and mark was like “Whats up with that, bro? Have you been a bad bro?”, And i was like “Nope, its just that santa was actually a guy named Saint Nicholas who was known for giving gifts and one time slapping a guy across the face turning the council of nicea!” and mark was like “HOLY SHIT I GOTTA LOOK THAT UP also i wont see you again until after christmas, also tell your mom i said hi” “OK”.

And then we drove home and i said to my mom “mark said hi”.

the end

And that was november for me, now have a Happy Christmas (If you aren’t having it already, since this blog will probably be out late in the day), and tune in a day or two (Or three, or more than all of these considering my track record for releasing these things.), hopefully for another blog, probably one about my visit to bumbershoot and my visit to dragonflight.

Or one about this very month (December 2014 if you are in the future.), or both.

Merry Christmas.

October

Its been awhile.

And now its Christmas Eve! (Actually technically its Christmas from where i am at.)

Merry Christmas.

The last time i did a blog was.....august, wow that's a while ago, and i said i would talk about how the month of august was for me next, well i was, but then i realized that i didn't have to do the blogs in order, after all the stuff i write about are usually things that happened so long ago that i forget them, so why don't i save the trouble and quit the blo write them out of order? So that means i can write about the more recent months first, and THEN write about the stuff that happened months ago that i was going to write about but is taking millions of years get finished!

So here is October.

First off (i think) we (me and my mom and dad) had to go to some boring ass wedding (actually it was honeymoon thing.) for some friends of a friend or something (people we didn't personally know), i didn't care but i had to go to it for “niceness sake”, neither did mom and dad, but we did anyways, and we still ended up having fun there.

How? well there was this card that was given out to guesses that was like a bingo card, it had things that you had to look for that people in the party had, and if you got all of the ones on your paper you would win a prize or something, it had things like “has a vintage suit” “is dancing for the first time” “comes from the east coast” and other kinds of things that someone in a party like this one would be like.

if you know us.....well...if you know me, you would know that i love vandalism, and so we took our piece of paper, and replace the boring ones that people in real life would realistically have, with funny interesting ones, like “comes from the east coast of Russia”, “is the inspiration for Indiana Jones”, “is wearing a vintage suit of armor”, “is a time traveler”, “cured cancer but didn't tell anybody”, “met sasquatch and had babies with him".

the only two that were not changed were "knows kung-fu” and “is dancing for the first time”, which i wanted to change to “is dancing for the last time”, but my mom and dad revoked it for being too dark, and also because there was the chance that the couple could have died in a horrible accident the same day, and the police would find the vandalized bingo card see the suspicious"is dancing for the last time" and scan the bingo card for traces of DNA and find that we were the ones who made the card, and point us as suspects, forcing us to become fugitives.

Now, that would make a good explanation for why the blog has undergone a long hiatus, running away from the law doesn't exactly allow for the time to keep track of a blog, especially with the pace i’m have, but no, its just that i’m just really lazy.

I saw another cool show at the local theater with my mom this month. this time it was a weird acrobatics show called “Punk Cricle”, which was an acrobatics show with bicycles.....and steam punk.

The show, despite the odd premise, wasn't made up through drugs but rather because the company that made it had a long history of making bicycles, so the idea started with bicycle acrobatics rather than steam punk, the steam punk part came because thats what kids are in to these days, yes? nah. more like college students and sci-fi/fantasy writers, its been technically around since the 1800s.

Anyways it was a show about bicycles and it had steampunk things on them, the plot of the show was that some nameless voiceless bike maker makes bicycles and a bunch of acrobatics steal the bicycles and use them for acrobatics and the bicycle maker doesn't like that they're using them for gymnastics, so he bicycle races one of them to queens bicycle NO I AM NOT KIDDING, in slow motion. and at the end he decides he loves gymnastics.

Also there was a part where someone put bike handles on there head like bull horns and pretended to be a bull, and of course that let to the tora tora thing and such but with bicycles.

That's really the only other notable thing i remember from the show, but it was still fun even though i barely remember it.

I give it a 7.5/10 But its still better than that boring hack-feast, Romeo and Juliet. Suck it Shakespeare.

Right before Halloween, i went bowling in a bowling alley called “20th century bowling”, which was actually filled with memorabilia from the 80's and 70's and 90’s, like the blues brothers, but not the 20th century in general (There was no Louis Armstrong from the 20's, or silent films, or 60’s hippy culture, or 1940’s gas chambers.), so they were lying about it covering all of the 20th century, it only had things from the late 20th century.

But i think the title could have also been saying that the bowling here is bowling from the 20th century, but to be honest, i don’t think I've seen ANY bowling that didn't look like it was stuck in the 20th century. so what is so special about this one being stuck in the 20th century? personally, i would prefer if it was called 25th century bowling and sub titled “see the future of bowling today!” and you go inside and its exactly the same as 20th century bowling.

But then again, it had videos that would show up the screen that showed the scores, for whenever someone got a strike or a split or something, and the videos that would play were PAINFULLY BAD, they were cgi videos of like bowling pins with arms and legs doing stupid shit, and failing or succeeding on that stupid shit, and failing or succeeding depending on whether you got a strike or a miss, in my case, it was mostly misses. the animations were obviously of 90’s quality CGI, like the kind seen in the cartoon Reboot and the music video for “Money for Nothing” (look up videos of those two things if you don’t know what they are, go ahead, i’ll wait..............you see how crappy the cgi for those two things are compared to things like pixar today? that's the level of quality the videos in the bowling alley were, like they were from the nineties, guess that's why it was called 20th century bowling then, because the technology there is stuck in the nineties!

Also the bowling ring would sometimes flash music and lights like a disco ball, which means it had a little bit of the 60’s-70’s, so i guess you could call it late 20th century bowling, then.

i went there because there was a event happening there were a few homeschooled families were coming to have “we think we’re so cool because we are homeschoolers” party,and bowl, one of my friends, trey and his family was there (because they were homeschooled)

i met a girl there named leia (actually spelled leah), who lives in a small house with a large amount of brothers and sisters, she likes star wars as evidenced by her name (fan fact, once, watches cartoons with her siblings, and laughs alot. also she was dressed as calypacher, which was what she was dressed as for halloween too.

she also lived in the same neighborhood as mine, which makes it easy for us to meet together for roleplaying, more on that later (in a few sentences).

i was also the worst bowler ever, sometimes i would get a spare or a split but mostly it was miss, miss, and miss, but i didn’t care because i had made a new friend!

(actually i took my badness at bowling badly, but at the end it doesn’t even matter.)

infact i told her about our weekly roleplaying sessions, and she was interesting and since then she's been a regular to our sessions, she seems to like playing characters that have to do with animals, she also seems to be fitting in with the guys well, thankfully, its a good thing that this means that our group isn’t really like the rpg nerd “eeeeeeew, girls” stereotype all that much.

also trey seems to like her alot, as he mainly hangs out with her, and acts extra nice to her, make up your mind on what this means, readers (all six of you not including friends and family).

Lastly in the month was halloween, because its at the end of the month duh, where we had a yet another haunted house, like every year since 2008, with our friends and family helping.

there wasn’t really a theme this year, but there was arguably a vague one, a theme of scary christmas, because of our main attraction, a evil Santa Claus who put the Satan in Santa!

More about that later but first a word about cameron's relationship status.

Cameron, while being part of a room that had the lights being turned off when someone would come into the room and then the lights would turn on, people in costumes would jump out from behind the wallpaper to scare trick or treaters, was in the process of starting a relationship with a mannequin named mannequin, she had no arms “hey baby hows it going....oh.”, unfortunately she fell over when (i think) a scared trick or treater came in through the dark hallway and knocked her over, she did not survive the fall, and thus broke up with cameron quite literally, and only a few minutes into their relationship.

her last words were “i hate sand” and “i’m breaking up with you cameron, LITERALLY”.

rip cameron's girlfriend, she died the same time she broke up with him.

ok i’m done with whatever that was, now lets talk about the EVIL SANTA.

Santa was played by cameron’s dad, he was in a big tent that a sing “If you are younger do not come in here, or santa will be ruined for you for life.”, or something like that, obviously it was not for the young people, the young people had to go down another other path (there were two paths), but the older ones could go through the tent, what they got to see was SANTA CLAUS EATING HUMAN FLESH IN A ROOM THAT HAD BODY PARTS IN CHRISTMAS PRESENTS AND A CHRISTMAS TREE AND HE WAS CHAINED TO IT AND HE WOULD JUMP AT THEM BUT THE CHAIN WOULD STOP HIM, WHILE A CREEPY VERSION OF SANTA IS COMING TO DOWN PLAYED IN THE BACKGROUND.

IT WAS AWESOME

and

SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKY

And then they exit through the side of the tent.

Meanwhile my job was to hide in a smaller tent on the path for the people who didn't go into santa’s tent (because either they were young or pussies), where i would jump out of the tent and scare the trick and treaters that came by me, earlier, my job was jumping out at people from behind the wallpapers with cameron, as i mentioned before, but i switched, in fact, alot of people switched the spots they were in, throughout the night, but i only did it one time, i was too lazy to switch to another spot. and i still had fun.

Over all, halloween was fun, indeed, this was the best halloween yet i’ve had yet, and it will only get better the next year.

And lastly I've been seeing a therapist (Starting in October), he is nice, has a dog that tries to kiss me everytime i go. and we talk about personal problems of mine like why do i barely work on the blos, and do i such a hard time focusing on my writing, what should i do about that, and why i do i have a murderous urge to kill my dad whenever he opens his mouth, or my mom for that matter?

i can’t say more because he says that we shouldn’t tell other people about what we talk about unless i want to, and i don’t.

also now that i’ve met a actually therapist, i can safely say now that every single depiction of a therapist in TV and in Movies is wrong, every. single. one.

EVERYSINGLEONE.*

that is all.

And that was the spooky month of October.

But that's not all! if you look up there should be another post detailing how November was for me, enjoy.

*ok maybe not every single one, but most, i mean, like, 99.99 % at least.

What happened in july. 15th birthday.

Hey, D’artagnan, when will the next blog talking about your braces come out, lol, I can’t WAIT!

July 8th:

“.... hopefully 2-3 days, (Or even 1 day!) will be about me getting braces. And my birthday. And if anything else happens in the next 1-2 days then whatever happens THEN.”

The next day: "O.k., i got the google doc open in one tap and once i'm done with watching this Jontron video i'll finish the blog......ok video over, hey i remember that video! i'm going to watch it again/while writing the blog...
:video ends and i see a video by jontron and its one of my favorites:
"Hey! i loved that video! I'm gonna watch it again!"
:i forget about blog and feel bad when i realize that i didn't work on it:
and thats why it takes so long for these to come out, not because of jontron, but because of the internet, and my low attention span.

And then another thing happens in my life, and another thing, and another, and another, and then it ends up taking a month or 2 to finish.
But enough wining, lets just get this piece of s*** over with and release this damn blog already, and then i’ll write another blog that WILL be sooner than later, and THEN we will be ALL CAUGHT UP with my life and i can finally say goodbye to missing schedules, hopefully.

Anyways, what you are about to read is the month of July for me, which is when my birthday is (YAAAAY!!!), which is the 7th, the luckiest day of the year, in fact my 8th birthday was the luckiest day of the year, 7/7/07, and some other stuff.

-----------------

As i’ve mentioned A REALLLLLY LONG TIME AGO, i had to go to a new dentist, and a new office, because my upper teeth does not line up with my lower teeth, why? because random genetics. so i had to get braces, fortunately this isn’t the 1970’s and before and braces aren’t horrible metal torture devices ripped out of a dystopian cyberpunk novel, wheres is today they are just small metals things on teeth, technology is always getting better. (Except for not being able to skip commercials on dvds, unlike with a VHS, where you could skip directly to the movie, that is fucking stupid, i hate commercials.)

The only alternative is getting a bouncer from the mafia to push my upper teeth back in, which would probably be a punch instead of a push, and probably would have led to my teeth falling completely out from the backlash of the punch, which would falling into my mouth, as i would have been leaning on a chair/knocking back from the punch, and i would have swallowed my falling teeth and choked on it and died. Yep, choking on teeth. thats one way things could have gone.

but, my dad and neither has any other member of the family dealt with gangsters before, so that will thankfully, not happen.

It was on the 18th, in the waiting area behind the window was a table with a couple of plants, with a stone fat face in the middle of it, which looked like the “laughing buddha”, you know, the fat one (Also known as Budai, and is not actually Gautama Buddha, who is THE Buddha that founded Buddhism, but actually a figure from buddhist chinese folklore that represents happiness, and is sometimes a deity and sometimes a Buddha. But is often mistaken for Gautama by westerners because of traders using Budai to resemble Buddha, because fat people are funny and Budai is fat and is laughing so he looks like a lot of big fun! Don’t make the mistake of thinking they are the same person however, Gautama Buddha was actually really skinny, infact he was named in the genus book of world records for the B.C. times as the Most Skinniest Person Ever. The More You Know.), he was not smiling however, in fact thinking about it right now i realize that he looked he looked constipated, i didn’t make the connection at the time however. basicly, he had closed eyes and was kind of froning and one of his eyes was kinda opened.

I called the stone head “Big Baba” or “Big Buda” or just “Baba”, because as i explained he looked like Budai, and for some reason i also call big fat people who are intimidating “Baba”. and if the face had a body, he would be big and intimidating and fat.

ok, i’ve gone on long enough on baba, the doctor’s name i forgot despite the fact that he acts like hes my best friend ever, i think he was the doctor who worked on me mainly during the operations before this one, i do kind of remember him, actually, he’s happy all of the time and was white, even if i don’t remember him or his name i still act nice to him because i don’t want to hurt his feelings, especially since he’ve met before, and i don’t want a enemy, especially a dentist! (But then again, unlike most people, my experience has shown that most dentist are totally unlike the dentists normally seen in fiction where they horribly torture people and are really creepy, all of the dentists i know are pretty nice, and the worst i’ve had happen to me was numbness in my cheek and my braces hurting really badly.)

Or maybe he thought i was D’artagnan, not me, i mean The D’artagnan From the 3 Musketeers, the one i’m named after, which of course means he is one of those people who think fictional characters and settings are real, like thinking wrestling is real and that Hulk Hogan is a real superhero (And not just a muscular old man who who somehow made it big for jumping on people and starring in terrible movies like Suburban Commando, Mr Nanny, and Santa With Muscles, which were all used for torture in Guantanamo Bay.).

So when he heard he was going to give someone named “D’artagnan” his braces, he probably thought “Yes! i get to put braces on one of the most famous figures from western literature! No wonder he doesn’t already have braces, they didn’t have braces back in the 17th century!”, he didn’t question the fact that the 4th musketeer was a 14 year old boy who needed braces, or how he was able to live for 5 centuries, without getting braces, or why he has a young boy, did he assume something even stupider and think that i was actually a REINCARNATION of that D’artagnan (Which is sadly a real train of thought among people like that, to think that they are reincarnations of fictional characters, like King Arthur, or Mickey the Mouse, or Cloud from Final Fantasy 7, or even the wrestler The Ultimate Warrior, because they read a dumbed down simplified version of eastern religions and thought that they could do whatever they wanted).

Which would explain things, like..........um, nothing, maybe why thats my name, but the reason why thats my name is because my dad can’t come up with original names and usually resorts to ripping off names from other things.

Actually, lets just use occams razor and say that he was just one of the doctors who worked on my teeth before and i just forgot about it.

anyways, the operation went smoothly, though i would have liked to have something on my nose, as the smell of my open mouth was bad, it hurt a little too, honestly this part isn’t interesting, because i wasn’t drugged for it like i used to be when i had operations, which means i didn’t say anything weird  i’ve finally realized that i don’t need laughing gas to tone down the pain anymore, i can take it on my own. also after the operation, something funny happened, i noticed that the music playing was Beat It my michael jackson, which i said was about gang fights, which he said was scary, but it was ok that michael made a song about them as he was telling them to beat it. if that wasn’t funny to you, well i promise you it was funnier in person, i was mostly not talking and just nodding along and being innocent, and then suddenly i mention gang fights. I swear it was funny.

But despite the smooth operation (not related to a smooth criminal), as with most operations on the teeth, my teeth was really sore for the first week of having them, to the point where, me as usual complained about them and acted as if they were the worst thing to happen to me in my enter life, they weren’t, but they still hurt.

i’m the kind of person who would scream and cry if i stub my toes, or not allow myself to get a haircut, because i would be worried that my ears would get cut off.

Actually i’m not like that THAT much.

But other than the first week, my braces have been pretty damn good, and by that i mean i haven’t really noticed them at all, but i have to brush them in a different way now, i have to brush above the braces and then under the braces for both the top and bottom teeth, its actually not that complex, but its different.

One problem that showed up was a wire on the left side and in the back of my mouth broke (thats what i get for playing with it, i guess, i actually don’t remember what it was that made me break it, i think it was large food accidentally breaking it.), and had to be reattached, twice, and the second time, which recently happened, like, in the month of august, it was also when they took of the old wire and knocked me out and replaced my teeth with metal teeth that can bite through anything, and changed my insides so i can digest ANYTHING, in other words i’m now matter eater lad!!!!

fuck, they turned me into a crappy d-grate superhero from the taking pot to come up with ideas era of dc comics while i was unconscious! and beside i already eat matter. what kind of name is that? stupid old comic books.

Actually they just give me a new wire for my teeth, which was sore for the first 2 days, which i of course whined about, and acted like it was the Hiroshima bombings in my teeth, it wasn’t. and also i am sorry for comparing it to that horrible display of nuclear destruction.

So all in all, my teeth are ok, and i can easily imagine having them for 2 years or more.

(i think i may have made that part longer than it needed to be.)

btw, the first time i went to the dentists after getting my braces, i told one of the dentists that i named the plant decoration baba, and we talked about baba and she memtioned that the decturators have a sense of humor and some other stuff about gardening decorations that i don't remember, i think something about the green man was mentioned too i think, anyways, the next time we went there, after i NAMED it, it was gone! Replaced with some weird metal stick figure guy who i have named "Pauly Shore", because he is just as annoying as him, anyways, baba was gone and it was the sadist thing i have even seen in my enter life. Damn the gardeners for playing a terrible prank on me, "they have a sense of humor" indeed, and a sense of sadism as well.

R.I.P. Baba
???? - august 2014

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and now time for the other big part of this post (But its probably not going to be very long.), my 15th birthday.

For my birthday we went down to Vancouver, psychically, Granville island, which is a beautiful merchant dock area in Vancouver near the Washington border to Canada, it is home to beaches, theaters, merchants and husklers, a huskler by the way is a street performer. I went to the place alot as a young boy, but stopped for a while after we moved to america, we couldn't go back there until 2012 because mom and dads Canadian passports were out of date for a while, and then they got new ones, and we could now go back to Canada. Grandville island included. We go to Vancouver semi-regularly.

We arrived at grandville island at 12:00, i believe, and parked on a parking space that was right by some house boats, which are houses which float on the water like boats. they are pretty neet, i would life in one if it wasn't for the fact that Granville's rent price is too high.

We went to the genreil market, and bought some launch, and sited in the dock in the middle of the market, where we also eat at, it is always home to seaguls and husklers, who always come for a easy audience.

While eating, we indeed did see a huskler, who was dressed in a basketball jersey and did tricks on a bicycle and involving basketballs, he sucked, because all he did was talk and talk and talk and then he would do one trick and then talk and talk and talk, even when he did do something it wasn’t really impressive the more interesting thing was this chinese guy who was taking pictures of him and had this permanent look on his face that was of a open mouth and grind, he looked like a really creepy Jackie Chan, god damn i’m having shivers just by typing about him, ugh. If anything he was the real husker there, instead of the “Amazing bragging man who never ever does anything because he is the best ever and he’d totally prove it once hes done bragging about it”.
Instead it should have been the “Smiling jackie chan look-alike who seriously creeps people out!!!!”, i honestly find it amazing that he was able to remain smiling at that stupid husker, like its the second coming of jesus, when what it really was the second coming of Fried Philips. 

nah, it wasn't that bad, he just sucked.

After eating some ice cream, we walked down the stairway to the dock which we always go down to whenever we are at granville island, because that area is the same place where as a young boy i dropped a green lander (of Hal jourtany, i think) toy into the water, i find that funny because kids messing things up is funny! also because the green lander toy will probably be found many years later by arcyachles, covered in seaweed and probably fish poop, and it will be debated over what it was used for, and why was it found under water, was it in the building when grand ville island was blown up by North Korea in the great nuclear war of the year...2015, turns out back to the future 2 was right and next year we will get hover boards and flying cars, but North Korea will be jules, so they will nuke wastington, not dc, due to a translation error they will nuke my state instead, and they nuked some random place in Canada because.....? This joke is dead.
Nah, they'll just think "Wow that kid was dumb.", and throw it back into the water.

Anyways, We walked on the port and saw some boats, talked about the green lantern toy, and then got off the dock and walked back to the streets.
We took a brief stop in a paint shop because mom needed paint, for some unspecified project, and then we went back to our car and drive to Stanley Park which is another place i went to alot as a kid, its a really nice and large park that 
We went to said beaches and i played with the sand despite now being 15th years old.

And then we left the beach at 4:00, because the american border would be crowded if we arrived later, which would make us stuck there until the end of the world, actually no, 7:00, i think, anyways we went back to the car and drove back home.

We stopped by the border to get some mexican food, and no, i mean a Canadian-American border, not the mexican border, just because you heard the word “border” followed by the word “Mexican” doesn’t mean that we drove all of the way to mexico just to get Mexican food*, that is ridicules. Anyways, we had a burrito and it was good. and then we went home.

It was a A-grade birthday, even if my presents didn’t arrive until a few days after (My presents were role playing game supplements, as always. nothing super special.), but it doesn’t matter, as this was one of the funnest birthdays i’ve had, ever. because i got the walk around granville island, and granville island is always fun.

*i bet there are ignorant people out there who think the only type of mexican food is cocaine. actually, i don’t bet that there are people that stupid, because i don’t want to actually EARN something from someone being stupid. Afterall, no one can be THAT stupid. Right?

Weird, that part was shorter than i thought it would be. I guess i really can't describe what it was like without wirting a tour guide of the area, it really is a nice place, but i guess i really can't do it justice here. Writing this a long time after it happened was a bad idea.

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Anyways, here are some other stuff that happened this month:

on the ___ me and my parents and trey and his mom went to a gay pride pirate, trey thought there was a guy who look liked a character from homestuck, whats homestuck? let me tell you about out of place mem-er-homestuck....its a really fucking weird web comic) actually, i’m not going to, sorry, just look it up yourself. he probally looked like this:

If you have seen this missing persona, please call the following number:
Actually, don't call me, because i don't give a s***.

Anyways, the gay parade was fun and was, well, a parade, what more needs to be said, that said, the fact it was a gay pride parade definitely needs some mention, as well as the fact that some redneck on a bike came up and said some stupid drivel about how gay parades make people gay, and i said “shut the fuck up fascist asshole” and he flipped me off, fucking red neck.

but to focus on positivity, it should be pointed out that me and joey hold a flag that said:

“Life is the School, Love is the Massage.”

I was thrilled to carry the banner, but not because of the fact it was pro homeschooling (i don’t have any problem with home schooling), but because of the love is the massage part.

And before we saw that, on july 12h, me and mom saw the super moon on our local beach with deb, cameron’s mom, it was red and cool, and it was cool because it was red, and that means it was creepy and creepy stuff are cool, and because it was creepy that means that the devil/dracula/the great old ones/the nazis on the moon bases that the other nazis forgot are going to come back and wreak havoc and ritual child abuse/Skeletons/tentacles/nazi bases in antarctica and other stupid conspiracy theories like that vaccines cause autism just because jim carrey said so on the earth.

Or it was just the moon being really close to the earth, and thus looking bigger and red and possibly threatening but not actually threatening and instead just plain cool.

and that was the month of july for me, mostly, it was not really too different from any other month, except for 2 things, first was the acquirement of my braces, and second was me aging into 15, with my aging into 15, my dad has had me do some things on my own, saying that i should be able to do them on my own as i should be mature enough to these things on my own, with this blog being late once AGAIN, twice over, this makes me wonder if i should try to push myself, and make myself work harder on this blog.

the answer to that is YES.
But then again this is just a blog my dad decided i should start doing one random day back in 2008, so maybe i shouldn't worry so much about it?

Happy 15 Trips Around The Sun To Me, and see you next time where i talk about dragonflight, and maybe other things, and then i’ll decide rather to quit the blog or not. I probably won't.

SEE YA.

also A BONUS THING:

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During june, on the 8th, we went to the upfront theater and saw THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE WORLD broadcast, he was a really smart guy because he was liberal (in other words, i agreed with his worldviews), yeah, i just said that.

liberal biases aside, he has a broadcast that comes out every tuesday, and like other broadcasts he sometimes does live broadcasts in front of a audience, he mainly talked about maya angelou, who had recently died at the time, which makes this part really outdated, but i wanted to talk about this because he was really smart and cause i asked him a question at the part of the end of the show where you ask questions, and i asked him “Why have rich people also been assholes?” and he answered “because their fucking rich!” it had to mainly due with entailment why rich people where assholes, it was a awesome answer also he loved my name.

my dad talked to him in a alley way right after the show (he didn’t talk to him alone personally face to face, he was with a couple of other fans, but that would have been cool), and learned that he LOVED the three musketeers and thought it was a awesome name, i definitely got a self-esteem bonus from that!

and that was the only notable thing that i remember happening in june aside from our visit of the family. maybe there were other stuff, but i don’t remember anything else right now and if i do then it will be way too late for that outdated shit.

see me next time for my thoughts on the recent development in the middle east: The Iran Hostage Crisis! and why i have good hopes about our new president, ronald reagan!

/JUST KIDDING

see you.

New blog post NOT tomorrow.

What the title says, its going to be that i promised last time back in july (making it embarrassingly late), and some other stuff that happened in july, and then, i'll try to make a blog that covers everything that happened in August, not a lot happened, thankfully, so it will be short to read and to write hopefully.

Well, expect for dragon flight, that part might be kind of long.

anyways, see you -
EDIT: Apparently i feel aspelt for 10 days on end.

Nevada and family and something about north korea.

Note: this blog should have been released earlier, as i finished it a few days before my birthday, but i forgot/got lazy and didn’t. This entry is about the month of june for me, well, half of it.

Why? Because i didn’t want to prolong this blog anymore than i already have, so, i’m splitting this blog into two parts, this first part is about our visit to nevada, specifically lake tahoe, right by reno.

and second, which will be out in hopefully 2-3 days, (Or even 1 day!) will be about me getting braces. And my birthday. And if anything else happens in the next 1-2 days then whatever happens THEN.

So, at the end of may, from the 30th to the 2nd of june, we went to nevada, physically reno, even more specifically the city of lake tahoe, which is named after the lake itself for some reason, maybe it was the same reason why greenland is called that even though its icey, because they wanted to trick people into thinking it was a lake when in reality it was a city!

but lake tahoe is really a lake and, the city is right by the the lake, which means that is actually a true name, and if it was meant to make people not come near it, then the name lake tahoe would be a very bad name to make people not come, because a lake has water in it! duh. So of course someone is going to come to it, maybe the cowboys who named it that way and thought that the natives would be so stupid that they would be all like “uh, it's just like, like, who cares, nobody's going to live here”, when in reality they’ll come to the river they’ve lived on for longer than the colonisers and they see villagers building buildings there, and they are like “WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE DOING WITH OUR LAKE?”

Anyways, we went on this trip, not for the lake however, but because, like, 99.99% of our family, lives there (Actually, most of them life in california and colorado.), my uncle robert, and his sons and my grandparents from my dad’s side (Who shall be named as Nana And Papa from here on) were there for the vacation, unlike other vacations we’ve had, it was pretty short compared to some of our other vacations with the family, so this will be a pretty short post.

On the first day:

We arrived at nevada after a long plane trip, we drove to the town where my grandmother and father on my mom’s side live (who i call gb and papa john). We went there, and talked, and we had dinner at a restaurant which had some damn good pancakes and had a cowboy theme, like any other restaurant in reno, and a casino machine area, because its reno.

After the dinner, we went to lake tahoe and met the family who were actually there for the trip, and we were staying in a hotel, that was also a casino! yep, its bottom floor was a big ass casino, and one of toppest floors was a dinner, which is weird, because dinners are usually at the bottom! I actually really hate gambling and casinos, their sleazy, and they are usually filled with the smell of burnt cigar, which i hate, both of which leads to self-destruction and misery, thankfully, we didn’t go into the casino area that much, the dinner was were we would normally meet, and eat breakfast and dinner and sometimes lunch at.

also our hotel rooms were close by each other, like, they were literally right by each other.

On the second day:

Probably the real reasons why we came to neveda was, aside from the family, because we wanted to go to a ren faire we had been to last time we were at narvane (2009 i believe? no, it was 2010 or 2011 i think.), called the valhalla ren faire.

The ren faire was in a forest, which was cool, and it was full of...well, things your normally see in a ren faire! knights, costumes, nerds, anacrisams, swords, horses, life-Wait, no you won’t see that at ren faires, white people, twats who their really knights when they actually are 30-somethings who live in their mom’s -oh, i’m sorry, i mean actually, legitimate 100% genuine knights.........and perhaps most surprising out of all of this..................air.

That said, its still one of the funnest ren fares i’ve been to, it has the most shops, the most horses, and the most food, like crepes (mmmmm, crepes.), speaking of horses, there was a pretty cool fight/joust between two cosplayers- er, i mean knights!, which had jousting and sword fighting and horseplay (As in they used horses alot, not as in they fought with fisty-cuffs), it was cool, despite the fact our team lost.

We also saw a guy playing galileo on stage, where he talked about galileo and the different theories on earths relationship with the sun. i got to volunteer and play as one of the planets, it was jupiter, and me and a couple of other volunteers from the audience acted out the different models of how the sun or earth revolves around the other (Heliocentrism, which is the correct one, where the earth revolves around the sun, and Geocentrism, the wrong outdated one where the sun revolves around the earth.), we all had props that where the different planets on sticks, with the names on them and a also sometimes a symbol, for example mars had a male symbol on it and venus had a woman symbol on it, because men are from mars and women are from venus (If you didn’t get the joke already), and reenacted the Geocentric and Heliocentric models with the props by spinning around the person who was either earth or the sun.  at the end, galileo give me and the other planets his card:

:hopefully there will be a picture here:

and since the last time we were there i bought a crossbow, this time we bought two metal mugs, so that the next dsnr, when everyone pores there drinks into those weak plastic cups, we would pull out our MIGHTY METAL CUPS and shout “HAHA, PEASANTS, YOU ARE TOO WEAK TO STAND UP TO OUR MIGHTY NOBLE STANDARDS, NOW GO BACK TO THE FIELDS AND FORCING HORSES TO HAVE SEX AND CROPPING OUR FIELDS AND ENJOYING THE SMELL OF HORSE POO!”.

i also got a kind of nifty satchel, which is utterly useless because i don’t have a belt to put it on, but i like the way it looks and it is blue, and when i do have a belt, it will probably be useful for storing things in. or i could put C4 into it, and mofie it to connect to a remote detonator via radio control, and use the homemade bomb to break into fort knox.

Hi again nsa.

Not that fort knox has anything valuable in it.

But yeah, the ren fare was awesome you said that before move on.

oh and also my dad’s old friend shawn was there, they talked about stuff in the car we rented a few days before, and he talked about how he had a new girl friend and stuff like that, he also was not happy at how my dad, despite studying creative writing at college, doesn’t really write all that much, and he was angry at that because he wanted him to write a poem for his girlfriend, because writing it myself is “too hard guuuuuise!”

And that was it, we just got tired and hung out at the cosino, and had dinner at a mexican place, or was that the day after? No, it was definitely this day.

and on the 3th day:

early in the day, we and nana and papa got on a carriage walked by a horse which was ran by some girl, she took us around town and to the beach, it was interesting for me because i had never been on a carriage pulled by a horse, it was different from a car because your mostly inside the car, and you really only feel the outside if your window is open. but the the carriage, being pulled by the strength of a horse, was alot slower, and felt more natural, when your in a car your mind goes fast and you have a desire to bump your head to music, but with the carriage your mind is slow and all you want to do is look at the scenery, at least in my experiences.

she talked with everyone about the city and stuff, but i didn’t really say anything, because i usually don’t talk much when i’m in a car, or a carriage.

i also got to feed the horse, the feeling of the horse’s mouth eating the food on my hand felt weird, and kinda scared me a bit, but i was just overreacting, it was interesting.

really, we just hanged with each other and the family and at one point me and mom went swimming in the pool, while dad gambled with nana, we both made the mistake of getting into the hot pool first, and then we fell asleep on the chairs, dad got 500$! he was lucky!

and robert and his family left this day too, nothing much to say there.

finally, at the night, we (meaning just me and my mom and dad), went to the beach, and watched the sunset.

also the water on the of tahoe was cold as hell. so i didn’t even try to swim in it.

and on the final day:

we ate breakfast with nana and papa at the dinner. and then we went to a restaurant that sort of had a stupid country bear theme, which was just there to appeal to nostalgic people, that said though, the blueberry pancakes there were DAMN GOOD, so much so that even gb and papa john couldn’t resist taking a bite from it, also i realized that it was a great bookend for the vacation, because we started by eating pancakes at a restaurant with my grandparents from my mom’s side, and ended the same way. Yep, we didn’t get back on the plane, i was convinced to stay in nevada for life because of the blueberry pancakes, so i bought a house in nevada and lost all of my savings on gambling.

.......Actually we ended it by going to the airport and saying goodbye to everyone, and then we flew away. on a airplane, we didn’t fly away like as in we grow wings and flew all the way back to bellingham. as cool as that would be. but no, man is unable to fly on his own, until scientists invent argumentations to allow the human to fly like superman, but then again, if it existed, it probably would be more like a big jump instead of a flying ability, which is what superman used to do until dc wanted to make everyone jealous of superman, a fictional character, and made him able to fly. riots happened.

....yeah, and then we went home on a airplane.

and thats that, that was certainly a fun trip, like any other with the family, really the only bad vacation that could happen to us is if we went to Iraq and got kidnapped by terrorist, or went to Brazil and got eaten by spiders, or Iran where we would get kidnapped by terrorists, AGAIN, or North Korea (apparently, they are now holding tours in north korea for tourists, but they intentionally do the tour on a narrow pathway, one with less property and oppression than is normally in north korea, to give a false impression of the place. “north korea is best korea”, but only if you do what they say and don’t walk off from the path.), or the Congo if we didn’t have a guide, or Bosnia, where would accidentally step on a old landmine that nobody bothered to pick up.

See you in a few days where i talk about my BRACES! and my birthday, and maybe some other stuff.